Out of my three children, Coco is the one who is most like me. When I look at her, I see both the best and worst in myself glaring back at me, sometimes even slamming a door in my face. She knows how to push my buttons like no one else, and vice versa. We argue. We make up. Repeat. That’s why when I found this in her homework folder, I was gobsmacked.

1.  Q: Who has served as your guide? A: My mom has teached (sic) me many things.
2. Q: What did the person do to help you? A: She cooks for me, sets playdates for me and helps me grow up.
3. Q: What did you learn from working with this person? A: How to take care of myself.
4. Q: What did you learn in the process? A: I can do hard things.

Given how many times she has called me stupid (or worse) and told me she hates me, it warms me to the core that deep down, she does see good in her mama.

Her assignment made me think about how I would answer these questions. I am not going to lie, the first things I thought of were the very important life lessons I have learned through mistakes – both my own and those of others. But talking about how you’ve learned from others’ mistakes is just a way to paint yourself in a really ugly light.

I learn every day, for better or worse, from many people in my life. Here are some of the people who’ve served as my guides and some of the lessons that seem most important at this time in my life.

• My husband, who has shown me the true meaning of patience. He is perhaps the greatest inspiration for my quest to be ever more present in my day to day life.
• My children, who make me want to be a better person every day.
• My father, who taught me through his early and untimely death the importance of living life to its fullest with no regrets.
• My friends and family who’ve gone through cancer, who’ve taught me both to appreciate my health, and to view the world through a lens of positivity.
• My “neighborhood family” who have taught me that it truly does take a village to raise our little people.
• The Crab’s teacher, who taught me that my first outward response when my kids do something totally off the wall stupid should not be “What the frick were you thinking,” but instead the question, “Why did you do that?” The truth is, the kids most often have a completely logical reason that totally makes sense to them. As a bonus, these calm “why” conversations inevitably strengthen the bonds of trust and unconditional acceptance between us.
• The many wonderful ladies (and their husbands) who have taught me the meaning of friendship, shown me that adult friendships are important, and that without a doubt, laughter is the best medicine!

There are more, no doubt. One thing these people all have in common is providing me with a daily reminder to be the best me that I can be. Right now that means putting aside all of the distractions (read: my lovie) to be present, and to appreciate all of the wonderful things in my life.

Who is your guide?